As Osho once said – “We are born with the capacity to love, but we are not born with the art of love. The art of love has to be taught, has to be imbibed”. This notion was an inspiration for the creation of the Kama Sutra. And though this knowledge is thousands of years old, it can still be applied and successfully practiced in modern times to deepen and strengthen our intimate, romantic relationships.

One of the areas the Kama Sutra puts an emphasis on is the importance of foreplay. Nowadays it’s common that one of the partners believes that their partner has to behave just like them. Therefore they give what they would like to receive themselves. In the case of a man it would be a quick and direct stimulation, combined with a sudden entry. A lot of men don’t think they’ve made love unless they had full-on sexual experience with penetration. They don’t see the value of sexual foreplay in lovemaking. As for the women, they may expect that their lover will be swiftly emotionally open, while ignoring a man’s sexual centre. Both ways usually end in frustration for both partners.

Once we understand the dynamic and the subtle anatomy of arousal and acknowledge our differences, we’ll be able to create a true intimacy, deepen our connection and love and even experience full body orgasms. The recipe is simple: if a woman is willing to worship his lingam in adoration and full respect, he will then easily and naturally open his heart. If a man is willing to honour, love and worship a woman as a goddess throughout her entire body before connecting with her yoni, she will yearn to open her body to him.

Foreplay dynamics of a man…

If you throw a stone into a lake, it will create ripples that move from the centre to the circumference. And so it is with the men’s sexual activation. Begin foreplay with a man by honouring his lingam first and foremost. Notice it, transfigure it, shower him with compliments if you feel inspired to. Regardless of your lover being aroused or not as yet, you could offer him a gentle tantric lingam massage. Use an oil of your choice. Warm a little oil in between your palms and spread it over his naked body. Lay his lingam on his belly and using both hands stroke it from the base to glans in a continues motion. Your hands could be flat or wrapped around the shaft. Slowly move the lingam from the 12 o’clock position to the 1 o’clock position and so on, while continuing to massage it. When you reach 4 o’clock slide off the lingam onto the side of his thigh, directing energy into his leg. Return to the lingam and continue the massage in the same way, until you reach 8 o’clock. Slide to his other thigh and back to the lingam again. Once you complete the full circle, with your left hand pull the skin back and hold the lingam at the base. With your right hand glide out from the base, along the shaft and grasp the glans. While the right hand hold the glans, your left hand grasps the shaft just behind the glans and glides from the back down to the base. Continue in a slow motion. Now link his aroused pleasure to other areas of his body. Slide off his lingam and slide toward his heart along the sides of his body. Return. Now slide down, towards his legs. You can expand the moves as you feel. This will help him to feel recognised and understood – most seen, most honoured and loved and will also help him to expand his capacity for perceiving pleasure through his whole body.

Foreplay dynamics of a woman…

Foreplay is the crucial element for a woman to awaken her sexual energies. It’s is not a preliminary for the ‘real thing’ – it is the real thing! For a woman, it is important to move towards her yoni very slowly and progressively. Touch her shoulders or knees to create a sense of trust. Kiss her. Hold her lower belly with full presence to open her up into emotional fluidity. A woman’s yoni is a place for reverence and awe. If a man can approach a woman in this way, her ecstasy and surrender with him will know no limits. Stoke her body gently with the tips of your fingers, a feather or your warm breath. Take your time, observe how she reacts, what she responds to and continue the same stroke that started to open her up. Discover her, educe and turn her into a garden of erotic delights. Then and only then, when she is long and lovingly adored approach her yoni.

Once you devote to follow this ancient tantric path of discovery together it will open for you unlimited reservoir of bliss and authentic intimacy.

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